Rites of Kings

With: Sutekh lmao. Hadad

Intention: Discover

Strain: Screenslaver

Jewelry: The Eye of Sutekh

History tells me Sutekh is a weather god. The internet tells me he is a chaos god. Some sources say he is associated with Mercury, a few others with Mars. A few say he is Horus the Elder.

My own records are confusing. My own records tell me Sutekh is Yahweh; also that he is my husband. They tell me he is Baal Hadad, reviled by the Hebrews, and increasingly by his own people during and after the Hyskos invasion.

My memory of a puzzle I solved tells me he is Satan, and also that he was the one Jesus went to in the desert.

In short, I have been tying myself in knots trying to figure out who this man is. This god. I’m sure he finds it very funny; in fact, I know he does, because I called him before I took my dose and we were talking for a while. He is already here.

I’m using his strain today. It’s a cross between Anubis’s strain and Blue Ghost. I don’t know who Blue Ghost belongs to, but I’m struck just now by the fact both Sutekh and Anubis are associated with Mercury.

So who is Lord of my Sun?

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Saturn has forbidden me from giving you the answer. No matter. I have never obeyed my brother a single day in my life, and if I see fit to tell you, I will.

I will tell you this: I am a very, very jealous God.

You are my wife, Ishtar. From my subjects, I accept no intermediaries. But you are not my subject, and I have never held you back from your nature. No; I am Chaos, the source of that in you which calls to the wild, and which the wild answers.

You were never meant to be still. You were never meant to be silent, or to be sick. This was not my plan for you. No; my plan for you was to cause trouble. To be a thorn in my brother’s side. To make him fall in love with you and then destroy him from the inside out the way he has destroyed me.

It is well that you are awake now. We have a common adversary, though I will admit your reasons are more benevolent than mine.

Impossibly, my eldest brother and I now have a common objective.

I see he has neglected to explain this to you. Saturn is your God. He is the God of the New Testament, and he has been God of the Jews since the settlement in Canaan. He cleaned up the mess that our youngest brother left behind on his warpath, what with that joy he feels through violence and destruction.

You are mistaken in believing he ‘came back different.’ I like that phrase, by the way. No; the man the world knows as Jesus was always the way he is; Lucifer Morningstar has always coveted our father’s throne.

—

I paused here to clarify something, namely that it’s always been the Father I’ve prayed to.

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Yes; that is correct. You are a Jew, it is natural to pray to the God of your people. But you have still known Osiris as your God: it was Osiris who presided over the permutations the law of Moses underwent through the centuries as he answered the people. He was the voice you knew as the Father before your awakening.

You are correct in that you have never accepted Jupiter as your savior. The oaths you have sworn in service of salvation that was never necessary were all to the Father.

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At this point, I noticed that Sutekh hasn’t said whether Osiris is Saturn.

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You haven’t asked me. You set your intention as Discovery; I am merely heeding your wishes.

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Asshole.

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You love me. One way or another, you will remember that.

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I asked him if he is Death.

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I am the one Jesus sought in the desert to learn how to defeat our father.

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…I guess I didn’t ask directly enough. But if he wanted—

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I am leading you to the answer. Go with me on this journey.

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I see you have figured it out. Good girl. I’ll even ‘recap’ for you so you don’t have to do it later.

Lord Saturday—my god, ‘I can’t even’—gave you homework once, figuring out the ownership implications of the title you gave me.

Do not doubt your instincts. And do not doubt me. I am your Death; I have told you this myself, and I have shown you signs by which to identify me.

The spirit you feel monkeying around on, and yes, in your back is one of my shadows. He is harmless—to you, that is.

I would never hurt you. Surely you know that by now…I am not the one you swore oaths to.

And yes, you are correct. I am indeed Lord of your sun; I would prefer you to call me Ba’al Hadad.

And yes, my Ishtar. It is indeed time for you to Discover.

—

That means putting my phone away. Audio recording’s still going, though.

And you need to sleep more. We will revisit that.