Instagram, especially its story feature, is insanely useful tool to maintain friendships for a working adult.
Something I've been struggling lately is to stay in touch with my friends. After graduating from university, it seems infinitely harder to keep in touch with them, which makes sense because everyone gets a job, gets married, has kids, etc. So friends become no longer a priority. But still, I think it's safe to say everybody wants to stay connected with their friends.
But the thing is that we all trust our friends to reach out to us, instead of us reaching out to them. Maybe because we're simply too lazy or because of that weird sense of shame or embarrassment for reaching out to your friends first.
I wonder why that is the case – why do we feel ashamed for putting extra effort into keeping friendships? Like sending a message to our friends to ask them how they're doing and have a catchup.
Perhaps, it's more like a guy thing? Maybe that's why more and more guys are starting their own podcast with their friend because they can use it as an excuse to talk to each other every week without feeling that sense of embarrassment.
Anyway, the best solution I found for this issue is to be more active on Instagram.
Why Instagram? Well, 1) almost everybody uses it, at least for people around my age (26). 2) it has the story feature which is crucial (I'll get into this later).
First of all, it seems nobody uses Facebook and Snapchat anymore. It probably depends on where you live, but in the places I've lived (UK and Japan), few people are active on these platforms.
Twitter is great and as popular as Instagram. But it lacks the story feature (they used to have it but not anymore because nobody was using it.)
Another reason why Instagram is better for this purpose is that it feels easier to ask for people's Instagram rather than their number whenever you meet new people. You may hesitate to give away your number to people you don't know well yet, but no so much for your Instagram.
Secondly, the story feature is essential. Story is a window into your friends' lives. It lets you see what they are up to and know important life events for them (e.g. got a promotion, got married, moved).
More importantly, story makes it easier to reach out to your friends compared to sending emails or messages.
Let's say you heard your friend got a promotion. On Instagram, you can just tap on his or her story and send a DM "Congratulations!".
In contrast, if you were to use an email, Whataspp or any other message apps, it feels scarier to send them a message out of blue. You also have to explain the context too, like "I heard you got a promotion..." which is another friction.
Overall, Instagram helps remove the friction in sending a message to your friends as well as that sense of shame for reaching out (well, mostly).
There are two things you want to do to get the most out of Instagram so you can maximise the chance of staying connected with your friends.
Firstly, think of Instagram as like your public video journal. You want to share parts of your daily life on Instagram to increase your surface area, which increases the chance your friends reaching out to you.
Each story gives your friends a glimpse into your life. If it's interesting, they will react to the story which could be just a single word (e.g. cool! , awesome!) or even just an emoji.
This is important because that's how conversations start which often lead to "hey let's have a catchup sometime!".
Most of my recent meetups with my friends started from a DM on Instagram. It was either me or them reacting to the stories.
Also, even if your friends don't react to your stories, that's fine because they still get to know what you're up to. It's one way to stay relevant in your friends' lives.
Secondly, you want to react to your friends' stories as much as you can. It doesn't mean you need to do it to every single story. But once in a week or so, react to your friends' stories and send them a short message or even just an emoji.
This shows that you care and you enjoy seeing fragments of their lives, which feels encouraging to your friends (because it may feel scary to share your life on social media thinking nobody wants to see it. Getting postitive reactions like that is reassuring.)
This, again, increases the likelihood of the conversations turning into an actual meeting up in real life, a zoom call or any other things where you can have deeper meaningful conversations with them.
I know Instagram gets blamed for making people miserable, but that doesn't mean it's bad for everyone. It all depends on how you use it. If you use it purely as a place to show off or compare yourself with your friends, you're going to end up in a very dark place. But if you use it as a public video journal and a device to see what your friends are up to, it's suddenly a great tool to maintain friendships.